Reframing our goals as parents is one of the most effective and quickest ways to see wins and changes where we might not have before.ย 


๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—บ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ (๐˜†๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜€, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†, ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฑ), ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป. ๐—ช๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฑ, ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—น ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ท๐—ผ๐˜† ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐˜๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.โ €
โ €
I am a mom of two young girls. And I am lucky enough to be a parent to a VERY SPICY three year old who has taught me that no one knows my child like I do, and while people have lots of offerings, only I can implement them in a way that โ€œworksโ€ for her. โ €
โ €
This was the first step, defining what it meant for me to have a successful tantrum or an extreme dysregulation that is working. โ €
โ €
And itโ€™s simple! If I stay regulated, we get to put that in the winning column. โ €
โ €
Whatโ€™s not simple, is how we stay regulated during those loud, intense and sometimes literally painful moments. But more often than not, I do. And this isnโ€™t because Iโ€™m some magical parenting unicorn, itโ€™s because I have a framework!โ €
โ €
And itโ€™s a framework that has been helping hundreds of parents, where we make plans for parenting challenges (like tantrums) considering the before/during and after.ย 
โ €
ย 

When we reframe success from 'something my child never does' to 'when my child does this thing, I can find my calm' we can find success more easily.

Before | During | After

This was the topic of my most recent workshop (which is available for replay through Patreon- You'll see the button below), and has literally helped hundreds of parents have positive transformations in their parenting.ย 

ย 

The before and after steps are actually the most important steps, while when we read parenting books, or find tips/strategies on Instagram, we see most of the focus being on the DURING.ย 

ย 

The before are things like considering your child's developmental age, knowing how regulated they are due to movement, sleep, food, activity, contact (or lack thereof).ย 

ย 

The during is where scripts, language and plans to help our children process their emotions, and learn how to regulate through the presence of a calm co-regulator (US!).ย 

ย 

The after is where we can both model restitution and repair for any mistakes that we might have made, and guide our child to reconnect and repair any mistakes they might have made during the dysregulation.ย 


ยฉ Copyrights by Myla Leinweber Parent Coachingย All Rights Reserved.